Things I love and Things we need to work on.

As the 2 oldest boys birthdays approach and we look at 7 and 5, my analysis of the boys heightens. SO I decided to get down in writing a few of my thoughts for each boy.
Things I love about each boy and things that I see need some work.
*When I say work by no means am I looking for perfection in my children. Impossible. I am just looking to be consciously aware of my boys flaws, which we all have. I do believe that our greatest flaws can often lead to our greatest strengths when we let others in around us to bring out the beautiful side of them.*
Trey
He possesses an extraordinary ability to make friends with anyone. His whole being is rooted in friendship. He breathes "hello's" with his face and smiles and eyes. When he encounters new people or neighbors out for a walk he can't help but talk with them, let them know what he is up to and ask them what they are up to in return. It is his every thought to have fun and laugh with his friends. He reads books to be able to share ideas and information with his friends. He learns sports to be able to be a part of a team and grow his friendships deeper. When he was 18 months old and we moved into a new house I remember telling my mom that I will soon know everyone on my street thanks to Trey! And sure enough I did. Trey possesses the ability to talk for hours. Give him your attention and he will go and go, changing from this subject or that effortlessly. He recently entered into his new school and the teacher has many times said what a charmer he is and how one could never tell from the outside that he is a new student. It is my absolute favorite thing about Trey! His ability to make friends and turn them into to real friendships.
He has a flaw that is not so uncommon to other members of his family:) His competitive drive is rarely if ever off. There is no 1/2 effort that exists in his mind. He does not turn off the tackle mode with ease during a football game with his younger brothers. He does not turn off his will to beat a 3 yr old at the simplest of card games or board games to see the beauty of letting someone less than you win. In fact if he so happens to lose he will immediately erupt into tears. Another key example of this intensity to win comes when watching a football game with him. He will flip and flop cheering only for the team that is currently winning. We sit there and argue the point to him of picking one team and cheering for them the entire game no matter the loss or victory. It amazes me to see the physical battle going on inside him as he chooses a team at the beginning and struggles to cheer for them the length of the game. There is no doubt that this will be his life long challenge - to desire the best, but not at the loss or hurt of others. He himself is aware of this challenge and is working at it daily with his brothers.
Taatjes
He is the most determined boy! He was the earliest of all 3 boys to walk at 9 months. He has always had a look in his face when he wants to accomplish something of intense focus and concentration. His ability to keep up with Trey at physical activities all comes back to his determination to just do it. He learned to ride a bike with no training wheels in 3 passes down the parking lot! He is the best goalie at soccer and hockey with his tight scrunched face portraying a stop it at all costs look! I was ready for him to cry after his first hockey practice and refuse to go back. He calmly admitted that it was hard but he really wanted to be a hockey player and stick with it. He has not once cried out on the rink during his many falls and hard hits (many other children do)! In fact he hardly cries at all when he is hurt. He puts it quickly behind him so he can get back in and keep going. We are never in doubt if he is really hurt because of this. He is often referred to as my worker. :) He will stay out with me the longest to shovel, rake, garden, whatever the job may be...he just wants to work. He is the boy who always asks to help make dinner or unload the dishwasher. This is my absolute favorite thing about him. He works hard and does not give up easily! He is one determined boy!
The best thing about Taatjes goes hand and hand with the things he needs to work on. His determination can cross the line into a strong will/temper. While his fuse is long, when he reaches the end of it...kaboom, he is done and he lets us know it. It can be seen in 2 ways. 1)When he wants to learn something and it does not come fast enough for him - explosion! Turning into hitting something and grunts of frustration. i.e. He has frequently banged his hockey stick into the ice after a fall (kind of a John McEnroe type). 2) Direct reaction to his brothers taunts and teasing - explosion! Turning into a full body tackle or punch to the back. We are often stunned to see Taatjes have zero control and lash out by punching his brother in the back! It is extremely hard to watch as a parent and not give out extreme punishment - which we do but we are also seeking to address the underlying issue. His will! His communication! Speak boy, speak! Tell someone what is bothering you! This will be his life long struggle. To not just put his head down and expect others to know what he is trying to do. To verbalize his expectations and communicate to others what they are. He is also learning to be aware of his breaking point and communicate this to brothers.
Teague
This is difficult. Teague is 3 right now and I have learned that nearly every 3 yr old is defined by the same traits. Tantrums, single minded, stubborn, are things I find in common with 3 yr olds:) Thus it is a challenge to sift through what I see as phases and find something I truly love about just him (unique from his brothers). I think this is it though - He is extremely goofy and incredibly shy all at the same time. I simply love this combination, let me explain to you why. While at home Teague is our goofiest boy. He runs around crashing into us and furniture yelling "Mayday, Mayday"!!!! We are not surprised when he yells out "poop" or "stinky bottom" while eating dinner to get a laugh from his brothers. Or he will just look at one of them and roll his eyes, scrunch his nose, and pull his lips apart making silly faces for them. A favorite for Taatjes who always cracks up at their appearance! This is his main goal - make my brothers laugh at me:) However, go out in public and this all changes. Most people do not believe me when I tell them he speaks, yells, and laughs at home. He barely looks at another person in public. Many of my friends will celebrate the smallest of looks from Teague in their direction. I can bring him anywhere. Volunteering in the boys class, not a problem with Teague - he won't make a peep. Take him to listen to stories at the Library, not a problem - he won't leave the front of my feet unlike many other children who run around and touch the book and get in the readers face. I have received many a compliment for this behavior. Many other moms say to me, "how did you get him to listen so well and behave so well?" As much as I would love to pat myself on the back with a smug, "I'm just that good.", I tell them the truth; "He is way to afraid to make a move or a sound!" Super, super shy is why! The boy just makes me look good and I love it! This combination is my absolute favorite thing about Teague!
We have a another "know-it-all" on our hands. Trey also posses this temperament. But, Teague's "know-it-all" temperament soars to new levels. He could go for hours arguing "no" to his brothers if he thinks they are doing or saying something the wrong way. He will not back down. If I am able to convince him to yield his position, I will see him minutes later run over to his brother and whisper just one last time "no you're wrong". Unbelievable! Another classic Teague line which is currently something he enjoys saying to his parents often - "See I told you so". This statement is said to one of us during a run back and forth between the 2 of us looking for miss information quest. Which by the way is inevitable. 2 parents equals 2 different ideas many times. Tegaue has recently become a master at divide and conquer. He will find dad up stairs coming home from work and ask something like; "can we have ice cream?". Dad will say "no" because we have not had dinner yet. Then he will run down to the kitchen and find me to ask the same question; "can we have ice cream?". I typically say; "Yes. We can have ice cream if you finish all your dinner". Poof! He is off running back up stairs to deliver his favorite message - "See I told you so! Mom said we can have ice cream!" To see his body do a funny little shimmy as he says these words adds to the complete "know-it-all" look. He loves it. He's thrilled to say it. It is funny now. But, we know it won't be so funny in the future. He will not successfully keep many friends with it, he will not be let in on many conversations between his brothers, he will not be a person you can easily share your thoughts with. This one is more for us as parents. We need to work on it. Be on the same page. Show him through our own actions of listening and not always answering. And simply tell Teague the truth. No, you do not know everything. We're good at that one, we have been saying that to Trey for quite some time now:)
As I read back through what I have written I can't help but think "Yes, I am simply crazy about these boys"! I am immeasurably thankful that God has gifted them to us. I am thankful for the things I love and the things we need to work on! The gift is in each one!

Winter Sports

Basketball for Trey. Basketball at such a young age is simply painful to watch. Maybe it is because I used to play??? I haven't figured it out yet but I just can't help but wince as they run with the ball no dribbling, never passing, and shooting the ball from almost half court!!!! Don't worry though I would never say these things out loud:) Really it is fun and hilarious to watch for all those reasons. They are just beginning to learn the sport. You want to make sure they enjoy it as well and not implement to many rules. Really the only rule is the out of bounds line. It's working too because Trey loves Basketball right now!

Hockey for Taatjes! Oh my my my! How do I begin to explain Taatjes first hockey practice. Let me tell you that I was almost in tears! Not him mind you just me! He could barely stay up on his skates. He took fall after fall after fall. He used every once of energy just to pick himself up over and over again. I thought for sure he was going to come off the ice crying and telling me he never wanted to come back. Taatjes proved my thought wrong! When he was finished he did say it was very hard, but, he really wants to be a hockey player! He couldn't wait for his next practice! And so we have continued and Taatjes has been skating 4 times now and walla he's got it! Side note - Putting on hockey gear makes me sweat! So much gear and making his laces tight enough is going to break a finger some day!!!

So Justin...

On Trey's 1st day at his new school I asked Justin to write him a little note to put in his lunch box. He gladly wrote the note and placed in the box. I knew Trey would just love to open up his lunch as he sat at a table filled with new faces and see something from his Dad.
So at the end of the school day we picked Trey up. I just let him talk on the way home about whatever he wanted or needed to get out. He spoke about the kids, especially the boys who like football:) He spoke about his new locker and recess and lunch time. When lunch time came up I was waiting to hear mention of the note Dad put in. But nothing...um. He just kept going and going, if you know Trey you know what that is like:) When we reached home and were all getting out of the car (a moment of silence finally)I asked him if he liked his Dad's note? He said, "oh yes of course"! I asked him what did it say (I had not looked at it yet). Trey, "Well, I didn't really read it, it was just too much. I just read Trey and Dad". In my head, too much, I wonder what he is talking about??? Of course I grabbed for the lunch box to open it and see what he meant. This is what I found.

This is soooo Justin!!! I laughed a bit as Trey said; "now let me read it". Too funny, classic Justin:) ***Now I must tell you that I am not hurting Justin's feelings by writing this. And, he is fine with me posting this:) Something else that is so Justin is the remarkable ability to laugh at himself when he goes a bit "serious" with his boys. Which is exactly what is so Justin about it. He was a bit "serious" with this note. It is not that Trey couldn't read it. It is that what 6 yr old boy sitting at a table with new kids, who loves to talk as much as he does, takes the time to read this note:) This doesn't take away from the fact that it still meant a lot Trey to see a special note in his lunch from dad. He loved it and when he read it at home he had a big smile. I just love this about Justin! All he needed to write is something like - I love you, or, Have a Great Day, or, Have fun making friends! He knows that, but he has so much he wants to tell his little boy on such a big day for him. The note came from his heart and Justin's heart doesn't work with little words or phrases. He wanted to make sure his boy understood that he was routing for him, praying for him, and thinking about what a great friend he is to others! It is just So Beautifully Justin.
When Justin got home that night he asked about his note. We laughed together as we thought of Trey opening his lunch box and thinking, no way am I reading all that:) We also reflected on the time we took Taatjes out for finishing his 1st year of preschool. The time Justin was giving him a very long speech about how proud he was and Taatjes starred off out the window:) (Sigh) Gotta love him for it!
Let me just say that some day a note like that from his Dad will be a highly cherished possession! Our 3 boys will love him for them! We are glad he is "So Justin"!!!

The Daily Grind

A few daily statements and questions from the boys over the break.

Teague - (through out the day) Typically at various points during the day one will ask Teague to pass something or if he wants a snack. To this he promptly replies with a snarl to his voice and face "that's not my name! I'm Avatar!" or replace Avatar with, "I'm Batman!" or, "I'm Buzzlightyear!". You see he constantly changes, I believe in his own clever way so he can keep his snarling voice and face he loves so much. By the time I'm going for my next "Avatar, can you come eat your lunch?", the snarl rears around and says, "I'm Batman!".

Taatjes - every morning he slips me a little note. I take it and read it already knowing the words on the page. "Can I please have a cat"? Then he passes my direction to verbally remind me he has a birthday coming up:)
This ones my favorite I wrote it down immediately after the conversation occurred. Taatjes tells me- "I know what you get to eat and drink when you go to heaven!"
Mom- "really what?"
Taatjes- "You only eat bread and drink wine. God makes the wine!"

Trey - A sign of the times...Trey's daily request for a phone and his physical jaw dropping response when I tell him "No"!
Another conversation that we have had a few times now.
Trey - "I do not believe in Santa because I wanted a (insert whatever he happens to think of in that moment. today it was...) radio and he didn't get it for me so he can not be real. Plus he has never given me a real Penguin!" Apparently a life-long request of his that he just informed me about. Really I just can't win with that stuff!

Snow Shoes All Over Town

 

What is that noise? Where is it coming from? Oh it's the new people:- Yup, it's the Belgiano's and we don't care that we sound like a pack of Moose emerging from the forest. We got SNOW SHOES for Christmas and we are coming out to play!!!
They were pretty loud on the sidewalks of suburbia until we made it to the snow packed park. The boys just loved the snow shoes. Trey now wants to enter a snow shoe marathon:) Hey it's possible now!

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

Warmest wishes for a very Merry Christmas to you all.
The Beligano Family sends it's love from our new home in Madison, WI. We are knee deep in snow and loving it:) We are spending our Christmas making snow men, snow forts equipped with icicle cannons, and eating pazzelles!

The Crew

(Thanks Lisa)

Birthday Party w/Cousins! The Best!

 

We were able to celebrate our 3 fall birthdays all together this year! Christian - 10, Jazlin - 6, and Teague - 3. They were so excited to party with eachother:)

He's 3 and He's Buzz Light Year (to the rescue)

 

Nov. 27th our Teague turned 3!!! Having 2 older brothers, this 3 yr old was more than thrilled to be getting up their in numbers:) The Buzz Lightyear gear was a huge hit for his birthday. He now refers to himself as "Buzz Lightyear" and runs around saying "to the rescue"!

Everyday he walks out the doors and this is all I used to see...

Hi Mom! (Pulling my eyes upward and pretending that flames are not coming out of my ears) Oh Hi Trey how was your day?!

I don't know why but some days I am hopeful that he will walk out of his school and his pants will not be full of grass stains. It just isn't so:( Every morning I try to give him a gentle reminder, even though I know it is lost on him. He simply nods his head as I say; "do you think you could try to stay on your feet playing football at school?" Ya right, no way, it just can't be! This request stands in direct opposition to very nature of the game 500. You are supposed to be the one to go full out and catch the ball when it comes flying at you. He can't possibly think oh wait I know the ball is coming at me, but, it is a bit out of my reach, and I might have to dive, which will in turn cause me to completely wreck the pants that I am wearing, and this will make my mom upset! Its funny because under any other conditions I would be telling him; "if your going to do this sport then give it everything you've got!" How confusing for him. I mean who's problem is this really. Is it mine, or is it his. We have 2 competing "desires". A boys desire to be a BOY. And, a mom's desire to be well "Sane". (If you have been here you know what I am talking about.) Which desire wins? I hold the "power", authority if you will, to impose my desire to be the winner. I do also hold the "power" to relinquish my desire and allow the full Boy to escape him without the "upset" mom pay back at the end of his day. Here is where I currently stand. I have surrendered my "desire" for clean pants. I have given over to sending him in sweat pants and sports pants, and well right back in those stained up pants. In turn, hoping that I have empowered him to be that Boy dying to get out on that football field. I can't fight it. I don't want to. I have conquered my gaze and redirected it towards his face, full of smiles, reaching my arms out to hug him and tell him that I am glad to have him home!

Just Teague and Mom...

...and peace and quite:)



A little glimpse at something Teague and I get to do while the brothers are at school. Build train tracks in any direction he wants them to go (not so easily done with brothers around). Use any train you want, and drive it in any direction you want. We also go to the library once a week by ourselves. I love it! Not only does my head get to stay in one direction, I get a real chance to pick out some of the books I want! Now don't get me wrong; all 3 of them together has different benefits (like laughing hysterically at the things they tell each other or the games they come up with). Just sharing a bit of the peaceful side of our life:)

Some Pay Off

(Deep sigh of releaf) What a beautiful site! 3 boys raking leaves, playing in leaves, and topping it off with bagging leaves! Yes all this was done without me. Well to be honest just the front yard. I did have to rake the back yard by myself. However the front was enough for me this year. It was a truely wonderful moment. Doesn't take much these days:)

And there it goes...

Taatjes front tooth made a good run. Maybe you remember his biking accident of 07? I certainly do! That summer while on a walk/bike ride Taatjes fell and knocked 2 of his teeth out. Lucky for us they were sitting in his mouth when we showed up to our pediatric dentist!!! We spent a pretty penny to have them placed back in and wired to his other teeth (and removing the dead roots - so awful). It was well worth it. They held in for 2 yrs and saved the space for his next tooth to come through.
Let me share Taatjes new look with you.

The event took place at school. He knocked another boys head (that poor boy was probably in more pain than Taatjes) and pop out came the tooth. We won't go into the part where the school called and I was to busy test driving cars to hear the phone ringing in my purse - whoops. His teacher is amazing and they took care of it all. (Again Lisa I want the mom of the year award for this one!) He was so excited. He told his teacher that he was either going to get a feather or a dollar! So cute, we have left feathers, "dropped from the tooth fairy", by Trey's bed when he has lost a tooth. Had no idea Taatjes thought that was awesome:) Sure enough when he awoke he was thrilled to see 4 feathers sitting in his bed! It took him a minute to check and find the dollar under the pillow. He is such a sweet boy. He shared his feathers with his brothers and us. We will have our toothless wonder for quite a while. It's cool with him cause looking like a real pirate is every little boys dream come true!

Trick or Treat

Ninja

G.I.Joe (who lost his helmet)

Knight

The boys went wild trick or treating this year. We ended up with 2 rounds of it. One at a friends costume party and again in our neighborhood. Justin was down with the flu so it was up to me this year to get everyone dressed and out the door for candy time! This is typically his role and I stay to pass out the candy to all the kids. I happen to love seeing every ones creative ideas and smiles when you put a bunch of candy in their bags:) Oh and poke fun at the teenagers who come to the door with no costume. Well, it was fun to see my boys super excited yelling trick or treat and having someone fill their pumpkins. (This is the first year Trey noticed the older kids using pillow cases. Causing him to make a prompt request for trading in his "small" pumpkin for a "big" pillow case next year!) They also had a blast answering our door once we came home. Taatjes double-fisted candy into bags which brought out shrieks of joy from the kids! He was also yelling out to them "I gave you a treat not a trick!", such fun! Great memory and now onto the daily grind of 3 kids begging for candy at every turn in the day.

The Spoils

Another thought from Teague...

"I wish mom was a dad so we could have all boys in our family!"

Ummmm interesting? (ouch)- It's rough being the only girl in the house sometimes:)

A few words from Teague

This is a daily one - "Let me pick first cause I'm the littlest in this family!!!"
Cracks me up every time he says that:)

After a trip to Cabela's (with Dad) - "I wish our house was Cabela's!!!" Um you and Daddy.

Another "rules" boy - (this one is typically yelled) "Follow the rules!!!" Or - "Mom said so!!!" Again, these are yelled multiple times during the day.

And, in classic nearly 3 fashion - "NO, No, NO!!!" To pretty much everything, yes, even good things. He just has to say it. Thank goodness I now know this is a phase. Just took me 2 times through to learn it:)

Down on Didier Farms

 

Taatjes' 1st field trip! He was super excited to get to the pumpkin farm with his class! Even better was that his friend Ethan got to come with us:) Oh yeah, and he had to drag his little brother along:) Teague loved it as well. Hay ride, petting zoo, doughnuts, maze, and pick your own pumpkin. All coming together to bring huge smiles, giggles of joy, and sugar filled bellies! That's a field trip win.

(In sad news - Trey is missing his Pumpkin Farm field trip this day because he has come down with the flu. He was bawling his eyes out this morning when I had to break the news to him:( I hate this part of parenting, the breaking his heart part. But unfortunately I know all too well this is only the beginning of a few more broken heart moments!)

Gymnastics Show

 

So this year I asked Taatjes; "what is something new you would like to learn?". He picked Gymnastics! Well great we can do that and I think you will love it. Needless to say Taatjes did love his gymnastics class. Taatjes really loves anything that is rough and tumble. He did really well but Justin and I noticed something with him. He is wild and just too crazy for gymnastics. He did listen and do everything he was taught. But we feared he was going to break his neck doing all of it. He just runs full on, jumping of the mats, grabbing the high bars, doing front flips right off of them, and not landing gracefully. I don't think his teachers quite new what to say to him. He did it, but oh my was that "wild"! He is our "Wild Card" for sure:)
We are thinking he is more of a hockey/football/rugby kind of kid! It's all full speed ahead and if I think I can do it I am certainly going to try. You never know what the "wild card" might do!
These are pictures from his gymnastics show for the parents.

The Big House

 

Thanks Papa Doc! Yea the boys got to head back to Michigan for their annual UofM game with Papa Doc. It was Teague's 1st game and Papa Doc bought him his first Michigan hat, he was thrilled! The boys pretty much sang the Micihgan fight song the entire game. Really haven't stopped yet:) The best thing is that Michigan won, thank goodness!

 

With the victory came a spacial visit to Blimpy's! On Guys' list of Diners, Drive-in,s and Dives helping Justin add a check mark to his list:)

Fall Hike in Wisconsin

We got to hike with our friends and all 6 of our children ages 6,5,4,3,2,1). They did awesome! 3 miles! It was a beautiful hike. Fall colors beginning, lake in the middle, and a brisk chill in the air. Actually it was so cold the kids wore their winter coats and I think my PBn'J sandwich was partially frozen when I ate it.
Good times, great memories, great find Joe and Tina!