Hi Mom! (Pulling my eyes upward and pretending that flames are not coming out of my ears) Oh Hi Trey how was your day?!
I don't know why but some days I am hopeful that he will walk out of his school and his pants will not be full of grass stains. It just isn't so:( Every morning I try to give him a gentle reminder, even though I know it is lost on him. He simply nods his head as I say; "do you think you could try to stay on your feet playing football at school?" Ya right, no way, it just can't be! This request stands in direct opposition to very nature of the game 500. You are supposed to be the one to go full out and catch the ball when it comes flying at you. He can't possibly think oh wait I know the ball is coming at me, but, it is a bit out of my reach, and I might have to dive, which will in turn cause me to completely wreck the pants that I am wearing, and this will make my mom upset! Its funny because under any other conditions I would be telling him; "if your going to do this sport then give it everything you've got!" How confusing for him. I mean who's problem is this really. Is it mine, or is it his. We have 2 competing "desires". A boys desire to be a BOY. And, a mom's desire to be well "Sane". (If you have been here you know what I am talking about.) Which desire wins? I hold the "power", authority if you will, to impose my desire to be the winner. I do also hold the "power" to relinquish my desire and allow the full Boy to escape him without the "upset" mom pay back at the end of his day. Here is where I currently stand. I have surrendered my "desire" for clean pants. I have given over to sending him in sweat pants and sports pants, and well right back in those stained up pants. In turn, hoping that I have empowered him to be that Boy dying to get out on that football field. I can't fight it. I don't want to. I have conquered my gaze and redirected it towards his face, full of smiles, reaching my arms out to hug him and tell him that I am glad to have him home!
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