Monday, March 30, 2009

The 2nd Best 10 Days of My Entire Life (so far)

(Sorry for the long-wind, but it’s my last shot to blog before I shrink back out of this “inter-web” world.)

Well, I’ve gone back and read through all of the entries – three things jump out:
  1. Hilarious! My 3 sons crack me up. There are so many funny things that were done and said…and I captured only a fraction of it.
  2. It now seems inadequate – I feel like so much more happened than what I actually wrote (which is true). I guess it makes me thankful for eternity, where I’m hoping I’ll be able to look at selectively edited portions of my life on a big screen.
  3. Memories – I laughed out loud while reading and also found myself tearing at points. These are memories that, while I’m sure they will have no recollection of, I will cherish for my whole life.

Update on Goals:
  • Clean House – sort of. Dishes were either hot or cold. I’d like to think that any negligence was caused by a focus on the bigger things – like playing.
  • Major Injuries – gonna give myself a “Passing”. One close call that ended quickly….this is way better than I thought we’d do.
  • Veggies – Warrior Poets are honest…..totally crashed on this one. Fruit was good. Veggies not so good. A couple carrots and French fries aren’t going to get me there.
  • Change clothes – pretty solid. No stains out of the house.

Other Goals:
  • Build memories – check
  • Play too much – check. Too much sugar – check +.
  • Develop Warrior – pretty good for the weather.
  • Develop Poet – tell me how many Braveheart weeks you know of that go to the library 3 times (Little Mermaid?).
  • Mindfulness for praying for Mom – check +. Wow, did their hearts grow in this area. Even the content of their prayers.
  • Love on each other – star.

Summary – Part 1
I usually cringe at the horror most people have with the thought of a dad taking on his kids for a week…or even a day. It shouldn’t be that way, but I also realize that experience matters and Michelle has a lot more of it. Thus, I expected to be stretched a bit but also never doubted we would make it. I think this was the case….however, let me say:
  • I have such a more grand appreciation for the difficulty of the labor Michelle puts into our family every single day. It truly draws on every part of your being – physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. And she doesn’t just put enough in to “get by”/get to bed time/whatever. She labors to make their life fantastic, fun, meaningful, learning-filled, character forming, adventurous, etc.
  • Mind you, I didn’t have to worry about obligations like school, homework, friends, schedules – but keeping everything straight seems nearly impossible. I have noted not to give her a hard time about forgetting things or asking me to cover off on stuff while at work. I can’t keep things straight with Outlook – definitely couldn’t do it with moving parts like people.
  • Multiple children (especially 3) are all-consuming. There is always a need, never a break. Impossible to explain this to someone – you can only know by experience. To run our home, on top of that, is extraordinary.
  • Sacrifice – Michelle has committed so much to her vocation….and there are few applause. Short of feedback on the blog (which I loved), there was no one providing affirmation of what we were doing…only confidence that I knew we were on track. She has chosen to forego 9-5 in exchange for 24/7 work on a very intangible project….with no completion date or promotion. This is love.
  • Purpose – I was impressed with the magnitude of purpose in our time together. I could either pacify difficult situations for ease, or dig in to develop their character through it. (That wasn’t always the easy choice it appears when typed out.) The excitement came from how much purpose all of our time was drenched with…more satisfying than any work experience I can think of. Michelle lives this everyday, even if she doesn’t have a PowerPoint presentation to prove it at the end.
"I am so thankful for Michelle’s commitment to true love over self-love, sacrifice over comfort, and purpose over accolades. She embodies Motherhood."

Summary – Part 2
Fatherhood is one of the greatest life gifts that is nearly inexpressible. I simply cannot believe that I get to be one every single day of my life. I can still remember where I was sitting (about a month before Trey was born) when someone said to me, “The moment your child is born…it changes everything.” Couldn’t be more true.
  • Every Dad should do this. A week+ of interrupted, dad-only time. The time it affords to live life out together has been transformational – and this is coming from a guy who spends most all of his free time with his kids already.
  • Bonding – I feel like I have really bonded with my sons in a special way from such concentrated time. Noticing patterns in looks, feelings, perceptions, needs, and inflections that I think I overlook in short snippets or when I have Michelle to bounce off of. What a foundation to lie down…and not forget the kind of effort it takes to get there.
  • Warrior Poets – Brave & Heart. (Eldredge rip-off alert) Boys long to be affirmed as Men. They grasped on to Braveheart Week more than I ever expected. The tone this set was such a blast and fun to watch. Freedom to be boys and the challenge to act more like young men was craved. It’s not just eating ribs, but showing your brother that you are “listening” to him. This is strong manhood that they loved. Quote: “We need to share, because that’s what Bravehearts do!” Ask them who’s a Braveheart and they’ll tell you – “Jesus, then William Wallace.” Too true. They wanted to be more and loved being affirmed that they were becoming more.
  • 2nd Best 10 Days Ever – Apart from our honeymoon (!!), I can’t think of a comparable time. I am walking on clouds right now and dreading that the small nuanced memories will fade. My only consolation is the hope of more to come. It breaks my heart to think I will be sitting at my desk tomorrow working on my laptop because this has been the most enriching, heart pounding, fun week of my life. Unspeakable joy!!
  • Leave It All On the Court – my personal goal (I knew the opposite tendency) was to go all out, all energy, all time. Don’t say “no”, “maybe later”, or “I’m tired”. Cross the finish line with the engine red-lining, smoking, and tires screeching. I wanted no regrets that I had these precious 10 days with my sons and squandered any moments being lazy (the Schindler’s List moment). I honestly believe I “left it all out there” and the boys loved it. We squeezed the seconds out of each day. They are exhausted from keeping up and I’ve never been happier…that kind of good tired that comes after a hard work-out. (To think in all that time, Michelle was going triple my pace on her “week off”.)

Best Quotes at Bedtime Tonight (un-coaxed):
Teague: “You have to go to work tomorrow?” “Yeah.”[Dad] “Awww!”
Taatjes: “Dad…Braveheart week was awesome.”
Trey: “I wish it was the first day of Braveheart Week. Can I come to work with you tomorrow?”
Dad: (to each) “Dad loves you. Thank you for the best week ever.”

If this isn’t livin’, then somebody tell me what is?!?!
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change." (James 1:17)
To the Giver of every good and perfect gift…..
Have I said what an incredible, undeserved, life I have?

7 comments:

Hee-Haw said...

OUTSTANDING, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

Let me know when you want this bound into a book.

the mom said...

Please this needs to be a book for Justin to have forever!!!!

Ed, Sarah & Sophie said...

Shelly,

I've been following your blog while you've been in Africa and let me tell you, although I don't think I've even ever met Justin (well maybe once) he sounds like an awesome devoted dad and husband. You guys sound so happy!

Love to you,
Sarah

Andrew said...

Thanks for the final thoughts, Justin. And thanks for letting us vicariously enjoy your Braveheart week. Wonderful stuff.

Cubba said...

Jelly Bellies - check ++

Christine Steyn said...

wow...michelle...you have an incredible group of men.

men...you have an incredible michelle.

it was no mistake she went to Africa with us...God intended it to be so.

plus a great blog.

tof

ESolgos said...

A group of women from my church (including me) are going to Liberia in June. We are wondering if Justin is available for rent?!

Your family is a wonderful example of what a Christian family should be. Thanks for the inspiration!